It's stupid but i just cant get over it..Knowing someone and that someone is my best friend hates me for me being me..As in me..You see,i'm not the type of girl who can tell someone how I feel..It's kinda stupid but i prefer opening myself by writing in this secret blog or just telling it to my teddy bear..Because i'm not the type of girl who can open up easily..
I hate secrets..But,i'm not the type of girl to share all my secrets..Not even with my closest friends or best friends..Seriously,i've tried to be that type of girl but i can't cause I'n not..It's hard to see me cry infront of people..I only cried in front of people if the problem or thing really really hurts me badly..I dont cry infront of people because for me,it makes me feel weak and vulnerable..That's why,i always seems so happy and crazy all the time..
People always think that i dont take things seriously but i do..I just seems that way cause I'm a very good actress..Even,my ex-class teacher fall for it..He even advice people to be like me..Don't always take things seriously and just be happy..Well,Mr Sunil,you don't know me..
Last year,I had a crush on my own closest friend..The crush is long gone but i never did tell him that i like him more than friends..This is because i don't tell people I like them because I'm too afraid of being rejected..The song "Crazy Love-Kim Chiu" and "Egokah Aku-Wali Band" was the song i used to listen when i was in an emo state or just plain feeling "jiwang"..
Sometimes,i just hate myself for being so good of an actress in hiding my own feelings..Not sharing what's bothering me with my closest friends and even my own family..Just plain stupid writing what i feel like in a secret blog and sharing my feeling and secrets with a teddy bear or pillow which can't even give opinions..Sometimes,i also feel like i'm not a good friend..I wish i wasn't like this..I've tried to be that type of girl but i dont think i can change the way i am..
To my once i call my best friend,i'm sorry that you can't accept me for who I am..I'm guessing that you're just not my real friend..Because a real friend would understand and just accept one's weakness..
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